Change of Blogs

Hello all! I have started a new blog, and no longer post in this one. Check out runswithlipstick.blogspot.com !!!!!

A F@t Blog.

The other day at a party, 3 other girls and I were playing an extremely lenient game of Kings. You know, the drunk card game. In the middle of the game, 2 other girls walk in the room and the 4 of us just stop and stare. "I hate skinny girls," was uttered by my friend. The rest of us agreed and cried on the inside. The 2 girls come up to us and want to join in the game...... Sorry there is a weight minimum to play Kings in this house..... They ask if there are some extra chairs somewhere.... Sorry we are out of chairs but there are some shot glasses over there you can turn upside down and sit on if you'd like. ....Then one of my friends (with admirable brave qualities) just straight up says, "I hate y'all. You're so skinny." The fetus girls just giggle tee hee then naturally, just like every other twig, they say "We don't try, we eat whatever we want, tee hee." OF COURSE YOU SAY THAT.

You are not more endearing because you eat more than me and blow away in the Lubbock wind.

So my friend, gotta love her, just says "Bitch." Everyone laughz.

As much as my mom raised me to love myself and taught me to have confidence, it has always been the cool thing to make fat jokes about yourself, and always turn down those once a year skinny compliments. Common phrases that I have heard in just this semester alone:

• "Look at my upper arms.... I'm going to fly to the bar tonight instead of drive."
• "I don't really know that girl, but I like her. We've both gained weight since freshman year, I feel like it bonded us."
• "Please go eat the fudge in the fridge before my thighs do."
• "I just ate a small child."
• "At first I was worried I was pregnant. Turns out I'm just fat. I can't decide which is worse."
• "Tonight I lied to my boyfriend telling him I'm eating soup. Making mac n cheese."
• "Don't let me get drunk enough to want to eat Canes tonight."
• "I just want to go to spoonful and eat my feelings."..."Okay. I'll go eat your feelings too."

Self-fat-jokes. All the cool kids are doing it. And not to sound like Dear Abby, but it really isn't healthy to be so down on ourselves all the time!!! (Not that I'm going to stop) After telling yourself your a beached whale for so long, when does the line between jokes and actual thoughts become too fuzzy? (Still going to refer to self as oversized aquatic mammals). It's not even that we are fat, or chubby, or overweight, or fluffy, in fact most of us who criticize our bodies have healthy normal weight bodies (normal college weight anyway), so why are we so harsh on ourselves? Why do we let ourselves be our own worst enemies??? RIDDLE ME THAT.

Ok I'm done being cheesy. But just a note-to-self for all you fat-talkers, remember this: when you fat trash yourself in a mild to moderately crowded setting, there is most likely going to be a bigger person than you there. And they are going to kill their selves when they go home. Just remember that.

Some other thoughts I have on this subject: Recently a kind sweet lying soul told me that guys like girls with curves. Mhm. I guess that is why 15 year olds go through body dismorphic disorder: Because they want to look like Nikki Blonsky. Because I don't know about you trannies, but she is exactly what I'm aiming for when I kill myself on the treadmill.

Camera man: "WAIT, NO! SOMEONE TELL HER SHE CAN'T EAT THAT!"

So to all my skinny frenz, I still love you. Just not as much as I would if you were fat.

To all my fat friends, I still love you. Just not as much when you eat off my plate.

To end this blog, I'd like to leave a little som'n som'n for those of you who are eating donuts at 2 in the morning while you read this. Here you are.

Oh, and I'd also like to just leave a home video from when I was little.

PeAcE, L<3vE, & CuPpPpPCaAaAkKeZzZ~'`\|/'`~*~*~~'`\|/'`<3<3~*~*~~'`\|/'`

A $assy Blog

As all of my facebook stalkers already know, I got a parking citation yesterday. Here is the story.

As I'm pulling into the Rec parking lot, I see the guy driving around putting ticket's under his victim's windshield wipers. Red flag #1. So I make sure to park somewhere that I'm positive is legal.

Side story:

To rent a locker for my workout is another story. I had gone to the gym straight from work, so I just had to lock up my clothes, shoes, and purse, there's no way I could carry all of that around. In order to rent a locker, it's 50 cents. Fine, whatever, I thought, but then I discovered I didn't have any cash or quarters on me. And they happen to NOT take debit cards. This probably wasn't necessary, but I said, "Are you KIDDING ME? I have to write a CHECK for FIFTY CENTS? HA-HA-HA!" Exaggerated laughter. The girl was like "yeah" so I did and that was that but I just felt stupid.

I wrote the check all fast and sloppy. 'Cause I'm $assy.

Back to the ticket saga:

So when I get to my car after 65 minutes of cardio (It was one of those days when I haaaaad to watch the entire episode of Sex and The City, so it forced me to stay on the stair master 20 extra minutes) and I am pumped up on adrenaline. It is then that I see an in-your-face-bright-yellow freaking rectangle under my wipers. "WTF," I ponder.

So naturally, I start power walking in different directions around the parking lot, looking for the culprit, and I spot him and his stupid short truck with flashing lights, complete with a caged backseat (probably for revenge seekers like myself), and I hall the @SS back to my car.

Proceed to drive to him.

Proceed to follow him.

For a few blocks on Tech's campus.

He finally parks.

I park behind him.

I get out of my car, yellow rectangle squeezed in hand.

Side note:

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I HATE confrontation, and all things serious. I like everybody I meet, and I am usually a doormat when it comes to most sticky situations (like tickets or whatever... don't get me started on strangers who want to "borrow" my typed notes in class.... ). THUS it is extremely rare for me to get mad, hate, or confront anyone with why I am mad and hate them.

Back to the story:

Ok. The first thing that is said is "Mam are you following me?"

I think to myself, No i've only been tailing you for 3 blocks because our cars are magnetic.

"YEAH, hi. I just have a quick question."

"Yes?"

"You just issued out this ticket to me, and I believe it was for no reason. I was just wondering what it was for."

(I said something to this affect)

"First of all, I did not issue out this ticket to you."

"FIRST OF ALL, I was not parked over two hours, and I refuse to pay it."

(This was said verbatim)

"Ok mam, one moment while I look up your file"

Alot was said in the next few minutes.

Essentially, he explained to me that I do not have a "Valid Texas Tech Rec Center Parking Permit"

I'M SORRY??????????? A VALID REC TECH PARK PERMIT WHAT NOW??????? I AM A SOHPOMORE??? HOW HAVE I NOR ANY OF MY FRIENDS HEARD OF THIS???????

So I said to him, "I'm a sophomore and have been parking at the rec for two years now, how have I never heard of this? Or any of my friends for that matter?" (another borderline verbatim sentence)

He says it's not his concern as to why I've never heard of this said permit. He also questioned why I drove to the rec when I was a freshman and lived on campus, to which I thought BECAUSE TECH IS THE SECOND LARGEST CAMPUS IN THE NATION, HAVE YOU NO BRAIN?????

What's funny is I actually never drove to the rec as a freshman, but this is an adequate excuse if I had. I was all worked up at this point, details of the past matter not.

I told him he should do better advertising for permits. He was kind of confused. I was too, but whatever, it sounded good in my head.

He explained all about the permit, and by this time it's been at least 5 minutes, and it's windy and I'm cold, and I'm hungry, and I'm like whateverjustgivemethefreakingticket.

It ended by me saying "I guess I'll pay it. Thanks."

I went home and reenacted the story to my lucky roommates who will read this blog and hear this story for a second time.

The Next Day: Paying Of The Ticket

A guy my age is at the help desk, so I figure I have a chance of getting out of this still if I do a little winky winky smiley smiley at him. OH WAIT--- IT'S THURSDAY--- HENCE MY DAY OFF= HENCE I LOOK LIKE ASS. *baseball cap hiding messy hair, oversized kappa tee, baggy victoria secret sweat pants, no make up, coffee breath*

I tell him that I should get my ticket turned into a warning because it's my first one of the year. To which Mr. IDGAF said "It only counts if it's your first ticket ever."

So that's what it feels like when guys get turned down when they ask a pretty girl to dance.

I say "Well..... I also have never heard of a rec permit til yesterday when I got this ticket."

Mr. IDGAF: "Oh."

So that's what it feels like before a murderer commits a crime.

While he is ringing up my $20 of damages, I notice all the pretty little notepads and pens on the desk.

I take them.

'Cause I'm $assy.

Besides, I paid $20 for them.

<3

A Twenty-year-old Blog

"One more year"

I feel like I haven't had a problem consuming alcohol since the ripe age of 18 (16 if you know me well enough), so although there is "one more year" left, I will probably still be going to Rowdy Raider when I'm 21. Outrageous.

I mean to update the twenty-year-old blog on April 12th, the actual date of the event, buuuuuut I failed to have time, so then the plan was to update it on Thursday, same story... So now I am between classes on a Tuesday, and have time to whip out a lil blogski.

A little nostalgia...

I remember sophomore year in high school like it was yesterday. Freshmen year feels like it was forty lives ago, but sophomore year was last week. It is so weird that I am a sophomore in college now. Annoyingly enough, this is the only picture I have on my mac of sophomore year. This was the winter formal, Snowball, a huge deal for Carlsbad. Here we have, "The Core" haha. My 4 best friends and I made up a name for ourselves because thats what all the cool kids in movies did. Later groups making fun of us soon developed, drum roll please for the other cool kid groups "hard core" and "soft core." haha. oh high school. I had originally wanted to track down pics of past bdays, but alas, i have none.

can we all pause for 5 seconds and recognize the thigh definition I'm representing? RIP...

In the transfer of valuables from Myspace to Facebook, from Dell to Mac, I seemed to have only wanted to keep memories from Junior and Senior year. I have tons more pictures of those eras.

Here we have a rare action shot of Cope's class, junior year. Please ignore the Hillary Duff bang phase I was going through.

Another tragic bang pic. This was summer... before junior year? I think. Whatever. Still have that shirt. Whatever.

It appears I have only 2 pictures of Junior year. Apparently I only wanted to remember Senior year. Which I would have to say was definitely my favorite year of high school. Being a big Senior in a small town with only one high school is like royalty. Especially if you were an athlete.

Prom with Jordith...

CHS dance co. memories....

Going all out for Nerd Day, notice the helmet

Cheerleading Banquet with some of the BFFs

National Honors Society Passing the Torch blah blah blah, Andy made himself trip on stage to win a bet, best thing ever.

Take notice of my "kourtney kardashian" outfit, in which I thought it was necessary to wear leather-esque leggings with a plaid dress and studded belt. Soooo appropriate for this occasion... Clearly early signs as to my eventual position at Chrome...

Shaking ass at the Spring Coronation Pep Rally...

Back-up workers for a photoshoot having fun. This was the day before prom I think.

One of my first dates with Jake (clearly evident by the awkward new couple pose)... :) Brace yourself for the big shocker, WE ARE STILL TOGETHER :):):O :) i like him :O :) :) :>

A few of my favorite boys ever!!!!!!!!

Cheerleading memories. *Screaming bloody murder, "GO CAVEMEN" to hide the cuss words in the rap songs we danced to*

A little snap shot before we did the legendary CARNIVAL SHOOT!!!!

The senior dance I choreographed. Most bad ass senior dance ever. Often imitated, never equalled. I DONT EVEN FEEL CONCEITED SAYING THAT. IT'S JUST THE TRUTH.

A fun weekend trip to Lubbock. I actually didn't want to go to Tech when I was a senior. But then I applied and ku ku ka chu, here I am AND I LOVE IT. We were eating in the Olive Garden right here.

My senior prom. I designed my own dress. I liked it. I wouldn't wear it again however.

Dance photoshoot in a random field in cbad.

Enough of Memory Lane. Now I am extremely aware that I am in the hallway of holden hall with about 20 minutes to kill before my advertising writing class.

Peaceout.

I found something better than Facebook.

And when you are a college student with a social life, that is pretty hard to come by.

Everyone, allow me to introduce you to my new best friend, Whitney. Whitney falls in love with a British accent, named Cayden.

Augusta falls in love with their story.

Read it, b!tch3z.

A Responsible Blog

I deleted my facebook.

Before everyone goes into cardiac arrest, I do plan on coming back. The planned time is Friday circa 9 am. Just in time for Monmouth. But....... who knows. Maybe I'll like all the new found free time and productivity I have and leave it deactivated longer. Maybe I'll start having seizures in 10 minutes and have to get it up and running again. But the real deal is I have been feeling unmotivated in school, this week especially, and it doesn't help when my phone constantly buzzes with messages and status comments and wall posts. IT'S SO CONSUMING. DARN YOU MARK ZUCKERBURG. ZUCKERBERG. zuckerbblahblabhlhb.

I'm trying to be responsible. Less facebook=more studying. Maybe I'll even pick up that book I started in January but never found the time to pick up again. YET SOMEHOW I have found multiple minutes for wall posting and frivolous creeping.

To ensure I won't be upping my facebook until Friday, I went to the extremes:

• Removed from my top websites
• Deleted it off my phone
• Developed and electric key board to shock me every time I type in facebook on the search bar.
• badjoke

However my guilty social networking obviously didn't come to a halt. I am a teenager after all (except I won't be able to use that excuse for very much longer). I'm keeping my twitter. WHICH I SUGGEST YOU FOLLOW. Also will continue to blog. Blogging has totes become an important aspect of life lately. Be expecting many a more.

Recently downloaded songs I'm enjoying (forgive the bipolarity):

• Oklahoma girl- Eli young band
• Jam- Kim Kardashian (YES I LIKE THIS SONG. I'M NOT SORRY)
• Someone like you- Adele
• From the start- Brian Burke Band

I'm aware of how much country was in that list. I live in West Texas, it's hard to ignore. Will not be ashamed.

A Selfish Blog

This blog is all about me, and my hair life choices, bleh. So I guess I'm going to keep my hair short and ChOpPpPyYYyY. So I've been googling celebs with short hair and so far these are my two faves. Let's not talk about all the homework I have right now and all the reasons why I shouldn't be blogging. Anyways,...

Let's disregard the color on this chick's pelo. Second thoughts, go big or go bitcha$$, I'll just have to do the color too.

I kind of want to get this hairstyle so people will tell me, "Your hair is uneven." Then I can respond, "Yes. As is my life." BTW, have no idea who this girl is. Poor dear came up on google images (eem-ah-hez).

KEY NOTE--> I think the main thing to remember when choosing a hairstyle is that you still have your face even though you have someone else's hair. Picturing my face on Gweneth's platinum blonde 6ft tall aura is a challenge.

And lastly, if you haven't been keeping up with my sister's blog, it's immensely better than mine. (I know, I know, you are wondering to yourself how that is possible).

http://ppppffffftttttt.blogspot.com/

Some other mentionable blogs from my franz...

http://north-view.blogspot.com/

Thoughts from the fanz (please, not everyone at once) on what I should do with my hair would be appresh'd.

Some things on my mind on a Thursday morning

1. Never shop from amiclubwear.com I just sent them an extremely agitated, snappy, pissed off e-mail. Those b words sent me a SMALL swimsuit when HI HAVE YOU SEEN MY BUTT? I ORDERED A LARGE. And of course they don't do returns on swimwear. What kind of scam is that?!!?!? I'm so mad.

2. J Lo works it more than I ever will. And she is in her 40s.

3. MY POLYSCI CLASS IS A JOKE. If it wasn't enough that the teacher is A) A grad student, B) Comes to class hungover, C) Assigns us assignments to watch movies, D) Is always behind on notes and wonders why over 50% of the class fails, and E) Never posts tests grades online like he's supposed to, NOW HE ISN'T EVEN COMING TO CLASS. There is this other teacher taking over this week because he is "sick." WELL BIG WHOOP. I GO TO CLASS SICK ALL THE TIME. Now there is like this fill in teacher who is a girl and also doesn't know what she is doing. She just showed up 10 minutes late to class. I am one of the like 12, in class. Naturally, writing a blog, and not studying.

haveagoodday.

QUE??????

Sorry about the constant blogging, sort of, I just wanted to update the world on a new trend. If your brave enough.

The pink pants.... what?????!?!?!?!

QUE??????????

How To Like What You See On The Scale

Dun dun dunnnnnnnn...... The Scale. Two words, one terrifying fear. The fear that you will not appreciate the three digit number that pops up between your feet. "Not appreciate" being an obese (large) understatement. This blog primarily targets girls, so if you have a wiener just stop now. Unless for some reason, you too have a scale fear.

People fear the scale for 2 reasons

• They are scared it is going to be too high. (It happens to the best of us).
• They are scared it is going to be too low. (Go die).

This blog isn't for the later, so if you are afraid of a fast metabolism, then just stop now. For the rest of you fatsos, I've conjured up a few tips n bits on how to start liking the number on the scale and be the best you can be, love yourself, follow your dreams, reach for the stars, listen to your heart, and dream big.

NUMBER ONE-

Starve yo-self. Like DUH. You can't have that brownie if you want to wake up skinny. Heck, don't even pick up that fork. You be hefty. Go do some laps around the kitchen before you snack on that chicken. Make that GRILLED SEASON WITH LEMON chicken. No way no how you should be eating that fried stuff. So if you want to love the skin you're in then DUCT TAPE YO MOUTH B!!!!TCH.

NUMBER TWO-

Treat yourself. For desert, I always like to have a big bowl of air. Mmmmm. Or for a real splurge, go ahead and whip up a nice glass of water. If you are feeling cray cray, you can put that sh!t in the micro and heat it up. Your night just got steamier. Or why not throw some cubes in there and cool it down. Peeps be callin you LLCoolJ.(sorry overkill)

NUMBER THREE-

If you want to like the number you have to be the number. You have to feel, breathe, eat, lick, touch, sniff the number. The number is your friend. The number is you. Be one with the number. You are the number. This brings me to personal mantras. Some people like to write their personal mantras on post its, stick to their bathroom mirror, and say them every morning. But I find that the more successful approach is to sharpie it on your forehead, and watch people around you say it to themselves in public places. I prefer cramped, enclosed places where people are forced so stand by you. Lets them soak it in. Public school buses always do the trick. And in no time, at the next stop, the bus clears leaving just you. It's like a win win.

Mantras to consider if you're a winner:

• I am the number
• I will like what I see between my feet.
• I will like to look down and be happy in the mornings.
• I'm too sexy 4 my shirt.
• The scale lies, and pigs fly.

Just remember to use sharpie when writing it on your forehead. Because it's annoying to rewrite it every morning with a washable marker. Unless you don't shower of course, then feel free.

NUMBER FOUR

Always weigh yourself in the morning. I find it helps to weigh myself, oh, 4 in the morning, so that I'm incoherent and it doesn't matter what the scale says, I'll like it.

Always weigh yourself with dry hair. Wet hair adds like 5 pounds. Duh.

Clip your toe nails prior to weigh in. And twice a day from thence afterwards. TOE NAILS ARE SICK. This doesn't really effect the weigh in, I just despise toe nails.

Weigh in naked. Studies show that eskimos suffer low self esteem because when they weigh theirselves, they don't realize their parkas add 40 pounds. So in reality, they only weigh 230 pounds. It's never fun to be mistaken for a polar bear, or have dead fish thrown at you. Just remember that.

It also never hurts to put a foot on the floor when you weight yourself. This is common sense, you idiotz.

If all else fails and you still hate the numba on the scale, you could always kill yourself.

I'm kidding.

But really, if you aren't happy with it just sit in a garage with the car running.

Ha, gotcha again.

In all seriousness though, if the scale still says 271 pounds, just drown your sorrows in pizza until you can't breathe, then throw yourself out of a building.

Ok I'll stop.

HaVe A hEaLtHy DaAaAyYyY, TrAAnnNNiiiiEEEsss!!~!~!~!

For those of you who have no time to waste time, here's another distraction.

I've always heard of stumbleupon and one of my friends always talks about it, but I've never actually experienced it.

Well today I did.

And if you haven't seen the wonders for yourself, it is time. I am blowing up facebook and twitter with my new findings. So far moderately to severely obsessed.

Essentially-

You register with it (annoying, I know) BUT then you check off all your interests and likes (takes 3 to 6 seconds, I promise) then you click "stumble" and magically a new page appears and IT IS SOMETHING THAT INTERESTS YOU. From that point, you ooooo and aaaaaahhh at the page, then you can either "like" or "unlike" it. We are all familiar with the "like" concept. Then when you're done being boggled by your new finding, you stumble again, and REPEAT.

Here were some of my fav findings....

A man paid off his $6500 credit card with Pennies. I've always wanted to do this with places that P'O'd me, but never actually thought it was possible. This cray cray californian proved me wrong.

I freaking hate frogs. But this one is sassy.

EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS.

How do people think of this.... Like... I thought I was mildly creative. I was wrong.

My favorite one is the girl in the trash. LOLOL.

I decided I'm going to read Mrs. Dalloway. I like Virginia Wolf thingz.

SISTER NEAL, You will love this. You and Bob will never be bored with din din.

I read this title, and was like PSSSHHHH- New Mexico does it better. Then I scrolled down, and immediately made the sunflower pic my new desktop.

OMG, I MISS DANCE SO MUCH, amplified now even more by this video, I "stumbled upon." I just.... no words. No. Wordz.

For all you hardXcore Rock and Roll fans.

I don't know how to describe what I'm seeing....? I like it? I can't stop?

Cosmo always has articles about body language, and they've always fascinated me. Check it d@wg.

This is for all you creative writers out there.

CuPcAkEzzzz

I just love things like this. I want to write on iiiitttttt

OKAY I've officially wasted a significant portion of time on the computer.

Shalom.

My latest obsessions...

Home Decor

That is weird. Why am I into decorating lately? I don't know but I love googling decor ideas!

This blog has some good idears...

http://neonfoxtongue.typepad.com/neonfoxtongue/2009/

07/friday-im-in-love-diy-home-decor.html

House of Harlow Jewelry

Always in style. Cannot have enough.

The sheer maxi shirt.

Currently obsessed with this little number.

Head wrap turbans

They are cool!!!!!!!!!!!!! Check out this lil website.

http://med.dbrink.net/2011/02/06/spring-2011-trend-report-3-turban-head-wraps/

ALL THINGS ELIE SAAB

Everything associated with this designer is dreamlike. Obsessed with google imaging her collections.

Kanye West.

His new album be guuuuuuuuud.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm5iA4Zupek

George Gina Lucy

Ever since I've started working at Chrome I've been hypnotized with this brand. I bought my first GGL purse on sale at Chrome, and it's been good to me. But lately, I've tired of big purses and just favor small baby bags.

This will be my next GGL purchase, AND I CANNOT WAIT. I got it in black.

This is one I am thinking about getting for use as a carry on for the Boston trip!!

It's like the perfect carry on size.

All things Amanda Seyfried.

I can always count on a good movie when she is in it. Red riding hood WAS AWESOME.

Painting my nails different colors.

Or a gradient of colors. I like to keep eet freeeesh.

KIITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently discovered "kitty wigs" while watching Animal planet the other day.

Some of my advertising homework....

Motorola XOOM (like an iPad)

Headline: Frank may have lost the match, but at least he still has his pride.

Subhead: Or at least for a few more seconds while Bill uploads the video straight to the Internet from his Xoom.

Illustration: The ad shows a man playing tennis using his iPad tablet as the rack. He is pale, scrawny, and maybe in his late teens/early twenties. He is sweating from the hot sun, and seems to be losing the match against a girl using a tennis racket. Another man is standing by watching the tennis match using his Motorola Xoom to take pictures and videos of the match. He is in his late twenties/early thirties, tan, buff, and in the shade drinking lemonade. The two tablets are distinguishable due to the silver apple for the iPad, and the sleek blackness of the Xoom.

Body Copy: There’s more than one way to use a tablet. And when the tablet is the Motorola Xoom, there’s even more. That video you just took? You could save it with the 32GB of storage. Otherwise you could edit and upload it to Facebook immediately using Wi-fi or Bluetooth. Maybe you want to e-mail to your co-worker using the fastest 4G service with Verizon. Or why not just play it back on the 10.1-inch HD LCD screen? Finally, a tablet that is impossibly easy, but impeccably made.

Mandatories: Looks like luxury. Feels like freedom. Sounds like Xoom.

WD-40

Headline: The only thing worse than a first date bailing on you? The balcony bailing on you.

Subhead: None.

Illustration: The headline is in bold black font on top of the page, and the page has 2 main pictures, with 1 insert thumbnail picture. The picture on the left is of a Caucasian man in his late twenties leaning against the rail on a balcony, with his head in one hand, and a bouquet of roses in the other. It is nighttime, and the rail is composed of iron bars. He is dressed up in a suit, looking pathetic and remorse. The other picture on the right is of the same man falling off of the balcony due to the rusted rail collapsing. The bottom of the page has the body copy in a dark font. The inserted thumbnail picture is on the bottom right and shows a man’s hands using the WD-40 big blast can to spray the rusted iron bars. The slogan is underneath the body copy in a slightly bigger font, and is in a bold navy. A small picture logo of the WD-40 big blast can is in the lower left corner.

Body copy: The uses and benefits of WD-40 don’t end in the garage. They only begin there. Explore all the ways it can repair and protect everyday utilities, even rusted rails on the balcony. After all, life depends on balcony rails. Life depends on WD-40. Simple, quick, affordable, it just makes sense.

Slogan: None.

Mandatories: When you use WD-40 outside the garage, you never have to leave home. www.wd40.com.

Another one...

Headline: The only thing worse than getting struck by lightning? Well nothing. But finding chewed gum stuck in your carpet definitely makes the list.

Subhead: None

Illustration: The heading is in bold white writing over dark gray clouds on the top of the page. The middle of the page is just a single lightning bolt in a dark sky fading to a white carpet with pink chewing gum stuck in it. The bottom of the page is white with body copy in black font. An inserted thumbnail picture is added in the right corner, and shows a woman’s hands easily getting the gum out of the carpet using the WD-40 Smart Straw can. The slogan is underneath the body copy in a slightly bigger font, and is in a bold navy. A picture logo of the WD-40 Smart Straw can is in the lower left corner.

Body copy: The uses and benefits of WD-40 don’t end in the garage. They only begin there. Explore all the ways it can lubricate and remove unwanted residue from everyday utilities, even your favorite white carpet. Simple, quick, affordable, it just makes sense.

Ginger Bears (candy that taste like aaaassssss)

Headline: I can’t pound back beers with you tonight, but I can be there for you when your head pounds tomorrow.

Subhead: None.

Illustration: The ad features a small bar/pub full of middle age men and women. Ginger bear candies are sitting on stools at the bar. There is a sign hanging that says “Kareoke Night” and a man, roughly in his thirties, is drunkenly singing and causing a scene. Some people have their phones out taking pictures/video. The heading is on the top of the page in bold black letters, body copy on the bottom, and mandatory headline on lower right.

Body Copy: Why worry about the flavor of ginger when the video of your intense rendition of “Take Me Home Tonight,” could potentially end up on youtube? Besides it’s about tiem there’s a candy with a sweet-spicy-ginger-zing. Especially since ginger is known to provide hangover relief. Isn’t it about time you tried Australia’s finest candy?

Slogan: None

Mandatories: “An Australian-feel, and a zing that’s unreal. Ginger bears.” A small logo of a bag of Ginger Bears.

The product package is a bag that has is vertical stripes of yellow and orange (yellow is mentally stimulating and orange activates appetite). The font color is blue (complimentary color of orange) and bold in the title “Ginger Bears.” Actual pictures of ginger bears (not cartoons) are piled one on top of the other on the bottom of the package.

Tabasco Headlines

Tabasco. It will make anything hotter. Except your blind date.

Tabasco. It will turn blandness to brilliance. But don't pour it on your math teacher.

Creep-asses galore.

Creepy people are two things....

1. Vast, and 2. Significantly more creepy than the rest of us.

But mainly, vast. Creepies are liking your facebook stati, breathing down your neck in the overcrowded bus, making direct eye contact with you in the next car over, and watching you decide which flavor of low-fat yogurt you want. What do they want from us? Why are they staring? Is something on my face?

Sometimes I feel bad for them. Maybe the man across the way is watching me pick out yogurt because he envies that I am not lactose intolerant.

OR MAYBE HE IS A PERVERT CREEP ASS

Oh and let's not talk about how 12 second red-lights are PRIME creep TIME. It's like they have an excuse to star at you in the next car over because they aren't driving. AT LEAST TEXT OR LOOK IN THE MIRROR LIKE THE REST OF SOCIETY AT RED LIGHTS.

Immediately, this brings me to facebook. Because half the time I'm texting at red lights, I'm not texting, I'm facebooking. Mark Zuckerberg increased all of our death rates, yet increased all of our happiness. So it cancels out.

AnYwHo, there is allllllways that person on facebook who likes your status even if it is an inside joke that she has no part of, and can't possibly understand. That person that likes the photo of you and your grandma. That person who comments on your photo from a 3 year old album saying, "I have that shirt!"

Do you.

Incredible.

Yes, Facebook is the breeding ground for fictional and non-fictional creepers of the earth. At least, in times of desperation, I can always count on that huge creep ass to like my less successful stati. Finally, a plus side to the creepiness.

Wishing all of you a creepy day,

Augusta.........

(multiple periods are creepy.................................)

IM BACK.

HELLO.

Well, it's totes been a while since I've blogged my life happenings. I kind of miss it. I also kind of miss sitting down when I eat, watching TV for more than 8 minutes while eating and standing, and not to mention having time to just BREATHE.

Needless to say, life has been a little busy. Currently, as i type, in the back of my mind I am thinking about how I shouldn't have watched a The Social Network tonight, MUCH LESS creep on facebook and blog, but I should be writing the 3 papers that are due next week, start on a project due next week, and read chapters for 3 quizes next week.

Buuuuuuuuuuuut here I am blogging, it's whtvr.

Right now I'm in my living room. One roommate is passed out drunk, the other is on her way there. Someone is whistling creepily in the hall way. It's probably a terrorist whistling the Iraki National Anthem. Welcome to West Texas.

The window is open with just a screen blocking me from the outside world, and the night is oddly quiet for a Saturday. I may live on the 4rth floor, but it is so easy to hear all the happenings 40 feet below. Everyone must be home researching Forever21 and blogging like me.

LITTLE BIT O' UPDATES:

• I work at a boutique, I don't know why I'm even saying that because the 2 people who read this blog, (thank you Alexis & Ryan) already know that. Anyways. I work at CHROME. all caps. i really like it.
• I am obsessed with Advertising. I love my Ad writing class. I love watching commercials. I love making up headlines. I love studying the creative process of creating headlines. I love body copy. Learning how to write body copy. You have no idea the amount of extensive work goes into a 5-word advertisement. It has to be like poetry. I just made a connection between diaper ads and poetry.
• Outrageous.
• One of my new years goals was to make all A's.
• Hahahahhahahahha.
• I'm am soooo thirsty tonight??????? It's weird????????????????
• Kappa Mom's weekend is next weekend I AM REALLY EXCITED. KAPPAS DO FUN THINGS ON MOMS WEEKEND.
• I haven't been home since January 1st. I miss it. I will hopefully get to go home March 14th.
• I'm going to bed.
• Bye.