4.21.2011

A $assy Blog

As all of my facebook stalkers already know, I got a parking citation yesterday. Here is the story.


As I'm pulling into the Rec parking lot, I see the guy driving around putting ticket's under his victim's windshield wipers. Red flag #1. So I make sure to park somewhere that I'm positive is legal.

Side story:
To rent a locker for my workout is another story. I had gone to the gym straight from work, so I just had to lock up my clothes, shoes, and purse, there's no way I could carry all of that around. In order to rent a locker, it's 50 cents. Fine, whatever, I thought, but then I discovered I didn't have any cash or quarters on me. And they happen to NOT take debit cards. This probably wasn't necessary, but I said, "Are you KIDDING ME? I have to write a CHECK for FIFTY CENTS? HA-HA-HA!" Exaggerated laughter. The girl was like "yeah" so I did and that was that but I just felt stupid.

I wrote the check all fast and sloppy. 'Cause I'm $assy.

Back to the ticket saga:
So when I get to my car after 65 minutes of cardio (It was one of those days when I haaaaad to watch the entire episode of Sex and The City, so it forced me to stay on the stair master 20 extra minutes) and I am pumped up on adrenaline. It is then that I see an in-your-face-bright-yellow freaking rectangle under my wipers. "WTF," I ponder.

So naturally, I start power walking in different directions around the parking lot, looking for the culprit, and I spot him and his stupid short truck with flashing lights, complete with a caged backseat (probably for revenge seekers like myself), and I hall the @SS back to my car.

Proceed to drive to him.
Proceed to follow him.
For a few blocks on Tech's campus.
He finally parks.
I park behind him.
I get out of my car, yellow rectangle squeezed in hand.

Side note:
Anyone who knows me at all knows that I HATE confrontation, and all things serious. I like everybody I meet, and I am usually a doormat when it comes to most sticky situations (like tickets or whatever... don't get me started on strangers who want to "borrow" my typed notes in class.... ). THUS it is extremely rare for me to get mad, hate, or confront anyone with why I am mad and hate them.

Back to the story:
Ok. The first thing that is said is "Mam are you following me?"
I think to myself, No i've only been tailing you for 3 blocks because our cars are magnetic.

"YEAH, hi. I just have a quick question."
"Yes?"
"You just issued out this ticket to me, and I believe it was for no reason. I was just wondering what it was for."
(I said something to this affect)
"First of all, I did not issue out this ticket to you."
"FIRST OF ALL, I was not parked over two hours, and I refuse to pay it."
(This was said verbatim)
"Ok mam, one moment while I look up your file"

Alot was said in the next few minutes.

Essentially, he explained to me that I do not have a "Valid Texas Tech Rec Center Parking Permit"

I'M SORRY??????????? A VALID REC TECH PARK PERMIT WHAT NOW??????? I AM A SOHPOMORE??? HOW HAVE I NOR ANY OF MY FRIENDS HEARD OF THIS???????

So I said to him, "I'm a sophomore and have been parking at the rec for two years now, how have I never heard of this? Or any of my friends for that matter?" (another borderline verbatim sentence)
He says it's not his concern as to why I've never heard of this said permit. He also questioned why I drove to the rec when I was a freshman and lived on campus, to which I thought BECAUSE TECH IS THE SECOND LARGEST CAMPUS IN THE NATION, HAVE YOU NO BRAIN?????

What's funny is I actually never drove to the rec as a freshman, but this is an adequate excuse if I had. I was all worked up at this point, details of the past matter not.

I told him he should do better advertising for permits. He was kind of confused. I was too, but whatever, it sounded good in my head.

He explained all about the permit, and by this time it's been at least 5 minutes, and it's windy and I'm cold, and I'm hungry, and I'm like whateverjustgivemethefreakingticket.

It ended by me saying "I guess I'll pay it. Thanks."

I went home and reenacted the story to my lucky roommates who will read this blog and hear this story for a second time.


The Next Day: Paying Of The Ticket
A guy my age is at the help desk, so I figure I have a chance of getting out of this still if I do a little winky winky smiley smiley at him. OH WAIT--- IT'S THURSDAY--- HENCE MY DAY OFF= HENCE I LOOK LIKE ASS. *baseball cap hiding messy hair, oversized kappa tee, baggy victoria secret sweat pants, no make up, coffee breath*

I tell him that I should get my ticket turned into a warning because it's my first one of the year. To which Mr. IDGAF said "It only counts if it's your first ticket ever."

So that's what it feels like when guys get turned down when they ask a pretty girl to dance.

I say "Well..... I also have never heard of a rec permit til yesterday when I got this ticket."

Mr. IDGAF: "Oh."

So that's what it feels like before a murderer commits a crime.

While he is ringing up my $20 of damages, I notice all the pretty little notepads and pens on the desk.
I take them.
'Cause I'm $assy.

Besides, I paid $20 for them.

<3


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